Water Works

Disclaimer: the following story has graphic detail and embarrassing information. Use caution when reading. Neither the names of the innocent have been change nor have the facts been altered. It is all true.

PS: I got on a roll and couldn't stop so this is really long. Sorry.

Well, thanks to Jackie's last blog many of you know (and can see below) that Colin is being potty trained. You can also see the vote of confidence Jackie gave me in keeping it up while she's gone on sabbatical. Let me share with you my experience with the pee-pee king as I'm now going to call him.

It's been less than 24 hours and I have taken Colin to the bathroom a total of...well, my abacus can't count that high! Let's just say the kid either has a small bladder (I can't believe I'm sharing all of this because he'll kill me some day!) or he enjoys the M&M bribe!

I dropped Jackie off at the airport last night and all was well. I took him to the bathroom on a regular schedule and he also did an awesome job letting me know if he had to go outside the normal routine. Well, bedtime came and I put a diaper on him for the long night. No longer than I put the diaper on than he informed me that he had pooped. (diarrhea - YUK!)

I felt bad for him because he was bummed. He said he was trying to toot but couldn't stop it. (Okay, it's graphic detail but it was all I could do to keep from laughing out loud and if I had he'd need counseling for the rest of his adult life because of the trauma I would have caused him.) I commiserated with him, heaven knows that even adults can experience a mishap every now and again. Not that I would know! I've just heard! Uhhh, well...ummmm...moving on!

So, I put another diaper on and told him to let me know the next time he had to toot and I'd put him on the potty. A few minutes later he ran up and said, "Dad! Dad! I have to toot!" Well, before I could react...he tooted! Yep, too late. The dead was done.

Rather than tell him I'm sorry, I felt sorry for myself because I had to wipe his bum! The whole reason for potty training is to NOT have to wipe a bum anymore! For crying out loud, I just got done cleaning up the last mess! UGH!

So, I got a bit upset with him and I could instantly see the look on his face. He was crushed even more. And then all I could think of was that there wasn't a hole deep enough or a rock heavy enough that I could hide in to escape how I felt!

See, for me, the tough part of being a parent is remembering that I wasn't always an adult and I had screwed up a lot when I was younger. The only people in the world (before I met Jackie) that I could always go to without fear of having judgment passed against me or who would love me no matter what, was my parents! And here I was upset at a three year old for making a mistake. And let's face it, using a potty when you're used to a diaper is a difficult task!

Let's just say that he was showered with affection and apologizes from me. The rest of the evening was much better and he actually did finally end up making it to the potty in time for the third blow out! I was a PROUD dad!

Moving on to the next day. This kid woke up and went to the bathroom with some help from his brother and already had underwear on before I was out of bed! I walked in the room and he informed me that he'd peed in the potty.

I thought to myself, "Wow! This kid's got it together. One week and he's doing really well."

So, as we ate breakfast and I got the older kids ready for school I took Colin to the bathroom about 10 times and each time he peed! 10 times in a 45 minute period!!!!!! Good grief! Is this kid Niagara Falls! I was beginning to understand what Jackie was talking about when she said potty training was exhausting!

At 9:30 we went out to register for swim lessons. When we got there, Colin immediately went to the entrance to the bathrooms and asked me which one was the boys. I told him and asked him why and if he had to go potty. He sat and thought a minute looking at the ceiling and then finally said, "No." Then we left.

As soon as we pulled away from the school..."I gotta go pee pee dad." Remembering my lesson from the night before I calmly asked if he was sure. He said he was and I found a Jack-in-the-box near by and stopped. I have the day off but as luck would have it I got a phone call from a customer that needed immediate attention.

So, Colin, Sienna and I go walking in to the restaurant (I use the term restaurant loosely in this case), Colin asking where the potty was, Sienna on my hip and a phone in my ear! Colin of course can't wait so right to the potty we go. Thank goodness it was a single toilet bathroom because I could lock the door. Then it hit me! Two hands, Sienna in one, phone in the other and I wasn't about to let Colin put his hands on that discussting toilet seat! What to do!

So, I pinched the phone between my shoulder and ear, Sienna rested on one knee and both hands held on to Colin. Success! I had negotiated what was quite a daunting task for a dad - of course mother's would have had this all thought through before they even left the car - and had Colin resting firmly on the throne while keeping my conversation going with my customer.

No sooner had Colin's tiny tush rested on the seat than he informed me he didn't have to go! WHAT! "Oh yes you do. Just try a little more." I said it calmly. Then quickly told my customer I was talking to my son not him. Colin tried for all of one second and was ready to go! Good thing I had lost it the night before and learned my lesson because I stayed calm.

I packed up the crew and headed home. As soon as we walked through the door...yep!...He had to go potty and went! But the fun doesn't stop.

I was running late to pick up donuts for Rylie's school birthday party and went running into Top Foods to pick them up when the alarm sounded, "Dad, I gotta go pee!" Come on! You're killing me here! How come you couldn't go more when we were home! What is it with a kids bladder! They have some seventh sense that knows when you're in a hurry or it's the most inconvenient place to have to go! Either that or the bladder knows when a new bathroom is in the vicinity and send a false alarm to the young toddler's brain just so it can check out the scenery of a new bathroom. GEEEEEEZZZZZ!

I calmly found the restroom and got him on the potty and again..."Okay, I no have to go dad!" Lessons learned from last night are about to be obliterated! I could feel the blood rushing to the top but I stemmed the tide! I wrapped them up and off we went! We did make it to the school on time and had a wonderful time with Rylie and her class.

I have to say that I'm really glad that he's getting it. After all it is a tough thing for a kid to do. I have taught him to go to the bathroom on his own now so I have added a little bit to his successful transition into becoming a preschooler. While I know there will be more accidents to come and more inconvenient announcements I am proud of the little guy and I wouldn't trade these memories for anything.

Oh yeah! Yes, he waited until we were about to walk out of the school building to tell me he had to pee but this time we walked back into the school and into the staff bathroom, put him on the potty...and the sweet sound of success was quite rewarding!!!!

Cheers!